Updated: Jul 9
May cause side effects
People that experience severe anxiety can be prescribed anti-anxiety medication. These prescription medications, while serving its purpose on one end, can have a serious impact on our body and our libido. The medication can numb the physical and mental parts of the anxiety, but the emotions from a lack of self-worth and self-confidence, neglect, and frustration are likely still relevant. It can drop your desire for sex to a chilling arctic subzero and this can have you and your partner feeling disconnected. Contact your prescribing physician and ask if the medication you have been prescribed may have these side effects. In any case, finding ways for you and your partner to connect will be important.
If you or your partner have anxiety that interferes with your sex life try implementing some non-sexual experiences into your relationship. The intent is to bond in a relaxed, non-sexual space, to develop a stronger soulful connection and a safe intimate space building trust and desire. If your partner has experienced physical trauma, ask permission before trying some of the physical activities listed below. This shows compassion, understanding, and empathy.
Here are ten ways to help you and your partner create or strengthen your connection and even release the “feel good” euphoric hormone dopamine. The key to each of these is to be very present with your partner so you both feel in tune with one another:
The attitude of gratitude:
Express one or two things your partner did that day you are grateful for. This will make each of you feel valued and seen.
Hugging just feels good. Hug your partner for 2 minutes and allow yourself to be very present in that moment. How does their skin feel against yours? Savor their essence. Feel their heartbeat. Notice how their body leans in and relaxes the longer you hug.
Cuddling and more:
Cuddling or spooning can help you and your partner feel safe with each other. Also, hold hands, play with their hair, massage each other’s hands while you are in the embrace.
Send each other small “I’m thinking about you” or “I love you” texts while you are apart can make your partner feel special. Or take a minute out of your day and call just to hear their voice.
Turn off all distractions and light some candles and give each other a 15-minute massage.
Talk it out:
Spend some time communicating about things you like about one another and the things that they do that make you feel loved and safe. For example: “It makes me feel good when you____”, “I feel most loved when you____”.
Cook together or order in, have a picnic on the living room floor, create a fort out of some blankets and chairs (yes, really!), read to one another. Relax, have fun, and laugh.
Tantric eye gazing or soul gazing is a sacred Buddhist and Hindu tradition used to heighten intimacy and build deeper trust. Try this for four minutes. Incorporate this when you are hugging or dancing.
Create a sacred space:
Create a space like your bedroom that can be safe for you and your partner. Remove the TV from the room, have candles or low lights, and keep it clutter-free.
Dancing is a beautiful bonding experience. You can laugh and be silly or pull each other in and be close.
Join us Friday for our final part of this series. We will look at the positive benefits sex can have on anxiety, body image, and overall health.
Disclaimer: Information provided in this article is meant to be for informational purposes only and not meant to diagnose or serve as a substitute for medical treatment. If you or your partner are experiencing any of these symptoms, contact your healthcare professional.