Self-sabotage is basically being in a race then, right before crossing the finish line, stopping, bending down, and tieing our shoelaces together, tripping and face planting just a few steps from the goal. Yep...that sounds about right.
Self-sabotage is really just an attempt to avoid difficult situations, rejection, or disappointment. There are plenty of reasons we self-sabotage, from fear of success to fear of judgment. The one common denominator is usually=fear.
In this three part series, I will go over the three most common ways I have seen my client's self-sabotage and what you can do to stop those patterns today!
Walk the Talk- Walking the talk is the story you tell yourself and limiting (consciously or unconsciously) yourself according to that story. It is the story you or someone has led you to believe. All the "I can't" and "I'm not ____ enough." False limitations. The truth is we have the resources to succeed or can create the resources to succeed. Not every millionaire started with a cushy bank account to fund their vision. We get so caught up in the story, we believe it and live it. We bring those limits to life.
What we can do:
Change the narrative:
“Every cell is eavesdropping on your internal dialogue”- Deepak Chopra
There is a lot of power in language. The way we speak, the words we choose to use influences our emotions, thoughts, and impact on the people we speak with. We can use the mind's language to change our internal sensors to achieve our desired outcome consistently. Your body is literally listening and absorbing everything you tell yourself. That is why whenever you say something about yourself (good or bad), you can literally feel it in your body. In the same way that our language can motivate us (affect our emotions, affect our physiology), it can demotivate us.
Begin by making small changes like first noticing the words you use when you speak to yourself. Change the "I'm such a loser" or "I'm an idiot" to "I made a mistake there," then take a look at what can be improved. This also allows us to take responsibility vs. assigning blame. Responsibility creates a space for improvement and holds less judgment, where blame is condemning and judgmental.
Practicing using affirmative words and remove negative self-talk. Record positive affirmations in your own voice and listen to them while exercising, driving, or meditating. This gives your unconscious mind an alternative to what it has been fed all these years.